Is this one of those thoughts that keep you from being a happily productive person?

So, I guess this post is about something that haunts many of us. Time to write those thoughts & feelings down instead of keeping them battling in my head.

This morning, as many other mornings, I had the problem again: waking up and not feeling like waking up, not seeing or feeling the joy of the day to come.

What is this shit about? Why the fuck am I like a diesel that needs to warm up and am extremely reluctant to even start?

Is this in my DNA? Am I just like this? Or is this something that became a habit, hence I can get rid of it through some serious mind-training.

Because

I am a very ambitious man, the dreams I have are big and I know I can reach them. Yet I also know that I will have to work hard, learn a lot and be smart about it.

On the other hand, it’s also very important that I can live this short and fleeting life in happy way.

I’m definitely not the only one struggling and writing about this, check out this article for example. Quote: “How to strive and grow and be ambitious without getting caught up in a rat race against your peers—in other words, without becoming obsessed with your relative status, as that is an obsession that I believe can seriously dent your happiness.”

Part of the ambition is that I like acknowledgement, attention & I would definitely like to be famous (in other words: “status”). Yet I also know that becoming famous and known is not a real good driver for my life’s purpose.

Who will care about what I do, a 1000, or a million years from now? Or who cares about this on the other side of the universe?

So yes, ambition & hard work opposed to just enjoying my life as much as possible. Can those things be combined? Is it possible to be happy with this life while also trying to make this society a happier place? And is it a matter of training my mind and learn to enjoy the things in life in a different way?

Or should I just be happy with life, not be too ambitious and not care too much about the future of our society?

Or should I not complain, work my ass off and achieve stuff?

All these questions, all these questions. They are running through my head and are constantly making me question the way I do stuff. Which is also not very good for finalising that stuff.

Any advice from anyone?